Letter to Mark Bobby #4

>>> this relationship and I could and because you told me I wouldn't lose you and I lost you several times over.

I hate the way you mistreated me and I hate the way that you have rejected me. I hate the letter you wrote when you told me you hated me (in as many words, but not that one) and you must have known how I would feel and I believed for so long that you were asking me and you wanted me to kill myself. I hate the way that I thought you were going to be someone who really could love me and I hate the fact that I thought you were perfect and I put you on the biggest pedestal that I could ever manage and I wish you still could be perfect although no-one in the world is! The problem is that everyone tells me you're not good for me in the state I'm in + i should leave you alone but I can't bring myself to admit to myself you just don't love me at all. The problem is that I don't hate you at all. (i lied) I think the problem is I love you and not me. If I could respect myself a bit wouldn't I just accept that you don't want me? And wouldn't I still feel adequate and a worthwhile person?

I know what it is. It's because I cry all the time and it brings you down. I should make you happy. >>>